


Forever Means Not Alone

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Post-Sirius in Azkaban, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5941858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus decides that they shouldn't be alone anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever Means Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

He watched the river flow under him. On nights like these he thought the Styx would be a far more apt name for it rather than the Thames.

He didn't know when he first started coming to this bridge, but it had always been somewhere, not exactly comforting, but familiar, and he needed familiar things right now. Anything that could possibly link the life he had now with the one he had lived so many years before. Because, it did seem like an entirely separate life to him. Azkaban symbolising Death, the dark chasm that separated his two different existences.

The problem was of course that instead of getting a chance to try life again from the beginning, like proper reincarnation, he instead had to continue living in his first one. Living with the same mistakes, the same memories, and the same dreams, but living it 12 years on, after so much had changed, and all the things he had once known were lost to the ravages of time, or the grim hand of Oblivion.

He raised his head up from staring into the water. It was a clear winter night, the stars evident even through the pollution of the city. Muggle London this may have been, but in a way it felt much more comforting than anything from the wizarding part did. He was somewhat free from his life here. There were less constant reminders. Still some, but less.

His eyes drifted to the moon, about three quarters full. No less beautiful to him, even now.

A small but icy breeze struck him, and he pulled his jacket around him tighter. It cut through him all the same.

There were few people out this time of night. Everybody with any sense was inside, hiding themselves from Nature, from Demeter's wrath. Her mourning. He didn't really mind it out here, but then he had never been well known for his common sense. His courage perhaps, but never common sense. He had doubted the courage back then, and now he didn't believe he had any at all.

He jumped, thinking he had heard something in the shadows of the pillars that held up the bridge. A small black cat poked its head out of the inky expanse, green eyes just lit by the flickering street lamps in the distance, the ones closest to the bridge being broken. It regarded him for a minute, cocking its head to the side, before fleeing back to where it came.

He turned back to watch the river. He didn't know how long he had been standing here, but he didn't particularly care. It wasn't like he had anything to do tomorrow, except evade capture from people who wanted to send him to a place where his soul would be sucked from his body (ironically, the people he had once worked for), but even being chased by the Ministry was starting to wear him a little thin. He just wanted it all to stop, even if just for a minute. For one of the first times in his life Sirius Black wished for calm, for peace, for the world to just stop turning quite so fast.

\-----------------------------------

He had been watching him for a while now. Remus knew that he hadn't wanted him to follow him here, but he couldn't help it. Their meeting had been far too short, and far too many months' back.

He knew he would come here. He had always liked places where you could look out over things. Whether it was the towers of Hogwarts, the large tree in the grounds of his childhood home, or this bridge in London. Remus had always known about this place, having followed him a few times when they had lived in London. When no one, least of all them, would have ever believed that this was to be their fate.

Big Ben tolled in the distance. Once, twice, three times. It's sombre tone seeming to fit the mood of scene perfectly.

He just looked so totally alone standing out there, as if he was someone that didn't have a home, someone that didn't belong to anybody. Not that anybody really belonged to anyone else except themselves, but when you loved someone you felt like they belonged to you. Sirius, at this moment, didn't look like he wasn't loved by anybody. Something that simply was not true.

Remus wanted nothing more than to walk over and comfort him, but he was afraid of the reaction. He had seen how he had reacted to the black cat, so the gods only knew how he would react to a full gown man appearing from the same shadows.

His physical reaction was not the only thing he was afraid of. While their relations had been cordial when Sirius had stayed with him earlier that year, that's all they had been, cordial. If anything more was wanted by either party it hadn't been spoken of, and Remus only knew what he was feeling. Sirius after his escape was more of an enigma than he had been as a teenager.

He seemed too simple to all but those who knew him best. The psyche of Sirius Black was a far more complicated place. Did people know he painted? Did people know he had probably been the most likely of the four Marauders to burst into tears? Remus doubted it. It was Sirius's hidden side that had captivated Remus as a teenager, the person he was around the people he cared for most.

Remus mentally shook himself. He was still standing there. He wondered how long he would stand there, caught up in the darkness of the Thames, and most likely the darkness of his own thoughts.

And it was then, watching the man he loved, standing alone, swept up in the maelstrom of his own thoughts, that Remus Lupin made a decision, and stepped out of the shadows...

\-----------------------

He didn't hear him approach at first; he was too caught up. His memories and thoughts had taken control, and were taking him places he only wished weren't familiar, but eventually he noticed that he wasn't alone on his bridge.

His face was dimly lit, but Sirius could see it much more clearly than the poor light would allow. He could see it in his mind. It had changed, everything had changed, but there were still those eyes that reminded him of autumn, and that beautiful brown hair, now with a few more of those other-worldly silver streaks, but which still reminded him of Before.

They just looked at each other for a minute. Communicating without the need for words, for while they both loved them, they knew when they weren't needed. Well, not for this moment anyway.

He finally punctured the silence, `You found me.' His voice was harsh to his own ears, he didn't know if he could remember the last time he had used it, the last time it hadn't been somewhere other than his head.

`I always found you.' That same sweet honeyed voice. Merlin, how he had missed it.

The silence came back. But it wasn't awkward; it was just...there.

Remus broke it this time. `You looked so alone, I thought you could do with some company.'

He felt his lips starting to curve upwards slightly. He was surprised to find that his face still move that way. `For how long? He heard himself say.

`How long will you have me?' He had moved closer, and had slowly reached out one of his hands towards one his own that had been lying roughly on the railing.

He sounded apologetic, like he had done something wrong. It almost made Sirius's heart break all over again. He never wanted him to feel like that; he should never have to feel like that. It wasn't his fault.

`I think that's what I should be asking you. How long will you have me?' Their hands touched, and their fingers slowly entwined.

Remus didn't look surprised to have had his question directed back at himself instead he just answered, with no doubt evident in his voice, and although Sirius didn't know it, no doubt in his mind. `Forever.'

They moved, turning away from railing and towards one another, hands still entwined. Sirius moved his hand to stroke Remus's cheek. `Forever?' He asked, making sure his heart hadn't just told him what he had wanted to hear.

`Forever,' Remus replied, definitely. And then he leant over and placed just a small kiss on Sirius's lips.

`Sounds good to me.' Sirius could feel the tears coming to the corners of his eyes as he took the other man into his arms, but he didn't care.

They eventually left the bridge and slowly walked hand in hand through the streets of London, knowing wherever they went for now on, it wouldn't be alone.


End file.
